Depression

Depressions is seduction in reserve. Or at least for me I think. Why? Well, I've discovered that the more time I spend ind depression, isolation, or angst the more romantic my thought seem to be. Where heavy emotion meets romance is where seduction is breed.
I've been single for a little over a hear now with out any release in my emotional vibes. Never let the world see how you truly feel I was once told. They'll use that against you in the worst ways possible. Six years later here I am with little to no emotion expressed and a multitude of psychological identities. These identities alone are not me; but together is the definition of me.
I don't know if anybody else knows what it's like to be brought thinking that all you have is your self to depend on. To walk down the street and think to your self that with in a ten mile radius you are probably the only person that has the same types of ideas or thoughts. For example, I was was walking down the street the other day and I could not help but notice every person around me and how single minded they must be. It's kind of hard to explain my psychosis when I people watch in town; especially in Ala Moana. They are all part of the "mindless human herd" as Ayn Rand once wrote. Keep the center of the herd and be safe and pathetic. You are nothing without this herd but food for the predators. Stand alone and you are a beast of beasts to be gazed upon and awed.
To stick out and survive on your own is to condemn your self to lonely and isolated life of an outcast. People will point and talk about how you are different. The common self spoken response of "I'm different, but your a pathetic weakling that thrives on the attention of those more insignificant than you."
I don't know. Maybe this whole blog means nothing and I'm just angry because I haven't found anybody worth my time and effort to seduce and what not.